Search Results for: failure

Found 40 search results for failure (this is page 4 of 8).

Are you Interested? or Are you Committed?

When one says he is committed to something, does it mean a trade? Does it mean that I will do this or that only if you do some other this or that? Does this commitment expect something in return from the other side? Will the commitment waver if one doesn’t get a response from the other side?

In my experiences over the years, I have realised that our aim should not, and cannot, be to make our commitment contingent on some external factor. If our commitment wavers because of a lack of response from the other side, then maybe that was not even commitment in the first place.

That is the difference between interest and commitment. If I am interested in some result, I will take steps to get that result. But it will be very easy to give up (in the case of an interest) when circumstances turn averse or not as expected. We no longer see the interest getting fulfilled, so we have every reason to back out. Fair enough.

But a commitment is bigger, it is a promise you make to yourself (more than anybody else) and then there are no excuses, but only results that matter. For example, a mother has commitment for her child, and she will even go hungry to feed her child. A mother doesn’t demand fairness from her son, she just loves her, for that is her commitment, irrespective of the situation or whatever obstacles life throws in front of her. As they say, any obstacle will have to go over her dead-body.

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” - Tom Robbins

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” – Tom Robbins

So how do we know if we are committed or just interested? Wait for the tough times as real commitment is only tested in the face of obstacles and conflicts, and that is what reveals the true character of all of us.

If we can let go of our attachment to the outcomes of our efforts and just focus on the fact that we are committed to do our best, we are more likely to achieve success regardless of how the world shows up. It will always be tempting to give up when we don’t see the outcomes we expect, and that is the threshold of ‘interested‘ and beyond that the world of ‘commitment‘ starts.

Every time we experience being upset, irritated or frustrated, we know our commitment is wavering. The question is, “Can we cross this threshold?“

And once we step into the world of commitment, we experience being calm, happy, at peace and confident, even in the face of harsh challenges. An interested person will get angry at an unexpected result, while a committed person will accept that fully, and take the next necessary action to stay committed to his goals without backing out.

If I reflect over my life, the times I thought were the toughest have given me the best lessons in life. I am really grateful for them for making me who I am today. These tough times have also taught me that we should not define success by the outcome of one’s results, but by the efforts being put in.

Being committed gives us the freedom of doing our best, yet be completely fine with the final result not being what we expected. No effort is a failure just because it doesn’t result in an expected outcome. It is a success if we gave our best!

If we notice carefully, this dilemma comes up in every area of our lives. Look at the things that frustrates you, or you got angry over? Were you interested or committed in that situation?

If commitment is present any setback would not last long. Be open to life’s little surprises, and experience its beauty when it does that. Allowing these surprises to happen without getting upset is one of the best things we can do to fulfil our commitments.

Why I keep putting my fingers in the electric socket?

As a kid, I used to have a knack of putting my fingers in the electric sockets at home. Worse, as my parents have told me many times, I knew to turn on the switch before sliding my finger. My parents say they used to pull me, or block the sockets with tapes to prevent me getting electric shocks, but still I remember a few times I was left with burnt fingers. One incident which I very clearly remember is when I put two ends of a copper wire into a socket and turned the switch on. There were sparkles and cracking sounds which left me with black hands and shit scared. I think I escaped getting electrocuted that day because my little experiment took the fuse of the whole house with it. That was the LAST time I played with electric wires and sockets. Lesson well learnt.

So why am I telling you this story? Let me try to answer this with another question. Do you think my parents never told me that playing with electricity was dangerous? They did, but I never listened. Well, until that day when I had black fingers to show and a lot of sparkling to wreak havoc with the house fuse. But I never repeated the act after that. Because I had scars to show for my mistake and I have learned my lesson well.

I just want to show off my scar proudly and not be afraid of it. - Carly Simon

I just want to show off my scar proudly and not be afraid of it. - Carly Simon

So here is the point – The lessons we learn best are the ones those leave us with scars to show. Without the scar, there is no incident ingrained in our memory (like I remember this incident even after 25 years). Without the scar, it is like the event never happened. You can learn about things by reading books, watching videos or doing any alternate learning, but nothing can match learning by directly being in action. Because when you read a book, there are no consequences of a ‘mistake‘ you just read about, so in a way nothing was learnt at all. You can remember a book and its lessons for a few days, but you will never forget a lesson which has a personal imprint in your memory because it had consequences (a scar, a burnt hand, or whatever).

The habit to be safe looks good and noble on the outside, but it very dangerous. Let me explain why? Any lesson learnt from somebody else’s mistake makes you miss the most important part of learning, which is seeking answers to your questions. We all have numerous questions as a kid, but in an attempt to act safe, we rarely ask the questions when we grow up and miss the chance to become stronger and better prepared for the future. (that doesn’t mean you jump into fire to see if it is hot or not)

Lessons learned from a painful experience can hurt, but they are necessary. You can’t learn from a lecture how it feels to race your bike and then fall down on the road. Only when you feel the pain in your bones and see your blood when your skin scratches against the road, you will learn the lesson properly as there is pain, fear and you can feel your heart beats right to your core. No book can replace that feeling.

Why you should keep putting your fingers in the socket too?

There is a process of life – of trying something new, finding hurdles, getting hurt, trying again and then succeeding and moving on to bigger hurdles. Through this cycle only people change the world, start new companies, and do the unthinkable. Don’t break this cycle by reading about how to avoid getting hurt. Find your hurdles and then learn your lessons in overcoming it. That curiosity and desire within all of us is the seed of something big. When we act safe, we kill that seed and never give it a chance to blossom into a beautiful flower.

Let that seed grow. Stop being safe and expand the size of the tasks you take on. And it is not something we have to learn new, because as kids we all do that. We jump a distance, then try bigger and bigger distances. Obviously there will be some pain to feel and some scars to show. Do you have any scars to show which resulted in some achievement in your childhood? Do you have some stories revolving around your scars which you tell people with pride?

You are grown up now and are more mature. But that doesn’t and shouldn’t stop you from going out and playing bigger games. Get some new scars to be proud of, some new memories to share, and some new lessons for the future. You need to feel the pain as long you are alive. Without the pain, there is no joy. And without pain and joy, there is no life.

10 Things Not to Do in the New Year

I can without doubt say that 2011 was my best year ever, and I am grateful for a lot of things which happened this past year. As we all move ahead into the new year 2012, I want to list out ten things which we all should not do in the years and decades ahead. As human beings there are so many habits ingrained in our behavior which we don’t even realize. Some of these habits help us in moving forward, while others stop us from realizing our true potential. It takes a lot of conscious effort to break free of these habits or patterns. Hence this list of ten points below are those habits which I am going to stop doing –

1. Stop Running From Our Problems

It is very easy to shut our eyes during a problem, blame someone else or the situation and look in the other direction. In the new year, we should face these problems head on and stop running from them. We should aim to learn, adapt and solve the problems over a period of time. But we shall not close our eyes and assume the problem is no longer there. In the process, we will realize that we have become a better human being.

2. Stop Try Becoming What we are Not

Do you think you are stuck in the wrong job? Or are you trying very hard to please your parents or your spouse? Or are you working day and night to match up to your peers? Stop that. NOW. Each one of us is unique, and the sooner we realize that it is better. It makes no sense in trying to become a person that someone else wants us to be. Instead, let us realize our own uniqueness and do what we love and in the way we want to do it. Break these chains, and only then will we experience freedom.

Do you have Not To-Do list in 2012?

Do you have Not To-Do list in 2012?

3. Stop Holding on to the Past

An event which happened one second ago is as much in the past as another which happened ten years ago. Whatever has happened is over and we never have any control over that? Good or bad, success or failure – past is past. Period. There is no point feeling guilty or repenting over past mistakes. Similarly, there is no point boasting over our past successes. What matters is what we are doing now… So let us stop living in the past in 2012, and take the steps to make the most of every moment.

4. Stop Being Scared

Pluck those ‘ifs‘ and ‘buts‘ out of your life (and your vocabulary) and act brave, for a change. Most of our fears are over estimated while at the same time we all have a tendency to under estimate our own capabilities. So stop being scared as nothing bad is going to happen to you if you go ahead with your dreams. The only thing that will happen is that you will feel alive, maybe a little discomfort as you expand your comfort zone, but you will experience what it is to really live.

5. Stop Wasting the Best Years of our Life

I am 28 now, and I know these are the best years of my life. This is the best time to do anything as the body is still young while the mind is mature and more wise from the past mistakes and lessons. So I am not going to waste these years working in a job which I don’t like. Don’t postpone your travel plans around the world (or any other dreams of yours) to a later time. Let me tell you, later never comes. Fix a date, and go do it. We can never get back any time we let go. So buckle up and do what you want before your body gives out.

6. Stop Waiting for Big Things

Are you waiting for that promotion, or for getting that big idea that will change your life? We all live our lives planning and dreaming about big success, but the real joy is in the small things while we move towards our goals. We must always aim big, but should never sacrifice happiness for achievement. The journey is the real reward and not as much the destination. So take a moment to realize the world around you, the people in your life, and make sure to give the best of yourself to everyone around you.

7. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Enough of feeling sorry or crappy about ourselves. Complaining and feeling we are not capable is a very easy way to escape our responsibilities. It only gives us a reason to not work and not being accountable for our own life. Instead realize that everything that happened has made you the person that you are, and so will everything in the future. Don’t have any regrets because life didn’t turn out for as we wanted, or a certain person didn’t act out as we expected. Only when we let go of the life that we have planned for ourselves we can be ready for the life waiting for us.

8. Stop Trying to Control Everything

We human beings take great joy in controlling things and situations. But life in its most inherent form has always been unpredictable. We have controlled a lot of things in the modern society for our ease and comfort, but trying to control everything is a futile exercise. We can never control (after an extent) how life will act out, and life’s beauty is in its unpredictability. Stop trying to second guess the future, because you will not be happy when life shocks you, which it will. In 2012, let us be ready with open arms for the surprises in life, both the positive and negative ones.

9. Stop Blaming Others

What has happened in our life, what we did or did not do, happened because of us and not because of any him, her or the situation. Let us take responsibility for our choices and decisions. We must always be ready for the consequences of our decisions and stop putting the blame on life or on someone else. Your life starts with YOU and it will end with YOU.

10. Stop Being Unthankful

Each day is a gift and nobody knows how many more we have. In the pursuit of our big dreams, we should never forget the joy of being alive. Be thankful of each day, of each breath we take, and of the various other small things in life which often go unnoticed. Say thanks to the people who have made a mark in our life and who we know will stand with us no matter what.

So make this new year count. It doesn’t matter if the previous years counted or not. It doesn’t matter whether we are young or old. The only thing that matters is the present moment, and your resolve to make it count. So go out, and do what you like. Make mistakes and learn from them. Enjoy the richness and beauty of the world, even if it means getting hurt sometimes. We all have only one life, and let’s not save anything for the next one. Happy New Year!!

My Top 15 Favorite Blog Posts of 2011

I have written many articles and poems in this year and it was a wonderful experience being able to write regularly all through the year. What’s more satisfying is that how well some of my articles have been received and shared over the internet! As 2011 draws to an end, I am writing this post to highlight my favorite 15 posts which I wrote in the year 2011.

1. 10 Things I am glad I had done (or do) in my life

I wrote this post in the beginning of the year on Jan 20, and has remained my favorite ever since. I often read this post again and again to measure myself against the 10 points I wrote in this article.

2. Only If You Knew

What if you are a poor and illiterate child who is exploited by the world around you and have no idea how to fight it? What do you say to the normal human being going about his life chasing his dreams and making his mark in the world? This poem is imagined from this little poor child to the average middle class Indian.

3. What is Jan Lokpal Bill?

I wrote this post before most of the country has heard of the Jan Lokpal Bill or Anna Hazare, on 12 March 2011. It was a chance encounter with IAC during the Dandi March 2 in Bangalore that I came to know about it, and wrote an article on it. That article later got widely popular as Anna Hazare fever caught on to the whole nation. See the number of shares (2000+) and the number of comments (200+) this article has got.

4. Why God Made Mothers?

Will not say much about it, just that I wrote this poem as a tribute to every mother and her undying love for her kid.

5. How letting go of SaleRaja could be one of my best decisions ever?

Very often we put in a lot of effort in something only to see it fail or not work out as expected. I wrote this post recalling a similar experience which I had with SaleRaja and how difficult was it for me for it to let go. But once I made the decision, there were so many things waiting for me which I could not see earlier. Read this post to realize that sometimes you have to let go of the life you have planned for yourself to get what life has planned for us.

6. What I learned when Deepali said “Theek Theek Laga Lo” 🙂

In April, I remembered an old incident which happened when I was in InfoEdge in Noida and wrote a post about it. It highlights the importance of having fun at the workplace and how we can do much more productive work in a fun environment rather than being serious all day.

7. Messenger of Hope

As the whole country got behing Anna Hazare during his fast unto death in April, I wrote this poem highlighting how Anna has come as our Messenger of Hope.

8. Never sacrifice happiness for achievement

An article I wrote in May highlighting the importance of enjoying and cherishing every minute of the journey while we go toward our destination. It is about how we should start living in the NOW and enjoy whatever we are doing.

Wishing a very Happy New Year 2012 to all of you

Wishing a very Happy New Year 2012 to all of you

9. Don’t allow yourself to use the word “tired”

I wrote this post stressing on the importance of language and the words we use in our daily conversations. And one of the quickest ways to improve your way of being is to change the words you use, to others and to yourself too.

10. 5 Benefits of Early Morning Exercise You Don’t Know

We all know the benefits of early morning exercise to our health. But I wrote this post to highlight some other benefits from getting up early and exercising. Like how it is a personal victory to start your day, how it gives us free time later in the day and keeps us stress free and feeling confident which eventually impacts every other area of our life too.

11. Why Will I Not Trade Any Year of My Career for even a MIT / Harvard Degree?

One of my favorite posts, I wrote this one taking a look back at 6 years of my professional career. I take a look at a few things which didn’t span out as expected, and how I am glad for those as I found new directions and ways to walk on at those unforeseen turns. I also highlight how much I have changed in the last 6 years, yet remaining the same person at the core. Must read…

12. Its Part of The Game

A poem about the fact that how everything is part of the game. That how life’s successes and failures are just two sides of the same coin and that there is no reason to be upset or dejected at the failures. Instead we must take the lessons from them and continue playing the game.

13. 7 Lessons from SaleRaja and other start-ups I have been associated with

Here are seven important points I would like to share with one and all who might be interested in starting a web based business based on my experiences. Some of the points are being passionate, prioritizing stuff, having fun while working and working with people smarter than yourself who share the same value system.

14. Why we should break the Safety Wall around us (to be Happy)

I wrote this article on my birthday. It highlights the need to get out of our comfort zone for us to be really happy and fully experience life. Most of the the times we thing being comfortable is being happy, but if we got in the world totally vulnerable to risks and still being able to dream big, we will realize what being alive and happy is really all about. Don’t just read this article, do it to believe it!

15. She is my dearest

A different poem from what I usually write, this is one of my favorite poems I wrote this year. Will not say much about it, just read it 🙂

 

I know I said I would give the 15 top blog posts but while I am at it, I found four more (and anyways, I am not much for rules) which I would like to share with you. So here you go with the 4 bonus posts below –

 

Is the Innovation ladder leaning against the right wall?

In this article I have tried to bring out the gap between the areas where all the technology driven innovation is happening and where the real need it. I have tried to  impress upon the point that “Are we innovating for solving the right problems?”

I Sent You

A poem I wrote in September about a confused young man who looks to God to answer many of his questions. And how God replies to his doubts!

How to write regularly, and get better at it in 10 easy steps

After writing so much in all of 2011, I decide to share my experience with my readers. In this post I list 10 important points I think will help anybody write regularly.

The Two Kinds of Choices and Decisions

This was a post I wrote just last month about the two kinds of choices we have to make in our life, and how both types of choices are very important. There is only one way we can move ahead in life and that is by choosing its choices, whether we make it or when life chooses a path for us.

India, Its Government, the Opposition and Anna Hazare

With the recent Anna Hazare led movement against corruption and the amazing support that it has received from the common man, everybody is busy pointing out the failure of the government. The media, social activists and the common man, have all come out and criticized the government and its ministers of the way they have handled the issue of corruption. But what about the opposition? How have they fared over the past few years? And on a general note, what is the role of the opposition in a democracy?

What is the role of the opposition?

I feel the role of opposition in a democracy is as important as that of the ruling coalition. The most important job which the opposition has is the responsibility for keeping the government in check and making sure they are delivering their promises to the public. Just because you are sitting in the opposition, it doesn’t mean that you are not liable or don’t have any commitment to the public who have elected you.

In fact, in my opinion you can do more good in opposition if you are really committed to serving the people of your country. The opposition should be sensible, intelligent and wise. They must use their intellect and reasoning critically and constructively. The opposition should work and interact with the people of the country and bring the concerns of the people to the government, if the government is not already doing so. Within the parliament and other democratic structures, they should engage in constructive debates and help/support the government in the common objective of serving the nation. They should also act as a deterrent in case any party or office bearer try to misuse his/her office for personal gains.

Anna Hazare's rally in Delhi

Anna Hazare Anti-Corruption Rally, Delhi (photo courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos/ishanz/)

What is not the role of the opposition?

The opposition should not be the opposition just for the sake of it. Also, they should not criticize and oppose every government policy just because they are sitting in the opposition. They should not disrupt the working of parliament and other constitutional structures. All their actions have to be directed towards the common cause (which they share with the government) of serving the nation. In the Indian scenario, it is clearly visible how the opposition have lost their credibility and status as they oppose each government policy and indulge in mindless accusation of government leaders.

What has Anna Hazare done?

No matter how good or sincere Anna Hazare is, he would not have been able to gain the public support if the opposition had been doing its job properly. Anna Hazare has only stepped into the vacuum left by the non-governance by the ruling coalition and the total ineffectiveness of the opposition parties to check that. The situation has come to a point where the public was totally hopeless and helpless, and only in this space Anna Hazare and IAC have stepped in. They are doing the job of the opposition, to pressurize (and support) the government to do their job. (I have answered some FAQs about the movement here)

Today’s opposition parties might be tomorrow’s ruling parties, and their approach and analysis can backfire on them tomorrow, if they show negative thinking and only care about coming back to power. Opposition is the back-bone of a healthy democratic setup, and a good opposition is necessary for the success of parliamentary democracy.  I hope our opposition realizes this, sooner than later.