Five Things We are Not Teaching Our Children

We live in a world today where we have luxuries available which has never been available for any previous generation. Today we can travel to any part of the world within a matter of hours (and not months), we can talk and interact with our friends and family real time anywhere on the planet, and that too free over the internet. We live in a world where information about any topic is readily available on our handheld device or computer. We have GPS in our phones and in our vehicles and can never get lost. Companies have employees working in different countries and time zones collaboratively. Globalization is truly upon us.

With our children and next generation growing up in environments where they get access to a laptop and smartphone before they access books, where they get access to video games before learning what sports and games really are, don’t you think our children are missing some very important life skills which all previous generations had the opportunity to experience? In an ever busy and fast paced world where everybody is running, don’t you think we are missing out on life? Below are five skills which I think our younger generation is being deprived of :-

1. Simple Living and Self Sustainable Communities
While we have the latest cars and metro systems in our cities today, and can get pre-cooked food home delivered free to our homes, which is ready to eat after a few seconds in the microwave, aren’t we depriving our children of basic human activities like walking amidst nature (be it a park or a road) or the thrill of growing our own vegetables and then the excitement of the art of cooking with different masalas and ingredients. In the modern world, we have turned many such arts (cooking, walking, gardening) into just products available over the shelf. But can we also buy the lessons and values one gets doing these simple activities?

Life is simple. It was never meant to be globalized. We have commercialized our lives in the wave of consumerism like never before. Man doesn’t need more than water and fresh fruits and vegetables to survive, yet why our definition of drinking has more of Coke, Pepsi, Budweiser instead of just plain water? Why our definition of eating involves going out to a fast food joint and gulping on that latest pizza or burger? For kids growing up in this environment, aren’t they missing the values of self-help, sharing and community. Globalisation has brought a lot of good and prosperity in this world, but there is a world possible without it, and our kids need to know that.

Isn't something eery about this pic?

Isn’t something eery about this pic?

2. Our Ancient Treasures of Knowledge
Coming to our education systems and the kind of knowledge we are giving our students, we have the best in class international schools with air conditioned rooms and global syllabus available today to ‘better’ prepare them for the ‘changing’ world. While we teach all about modern mathematics, technology, science and all about which careers to pick and what businesses to join, what happened to our ancient treasures of knowledge which I feel could form a very strong backbone for whatever careers they choose? The ancient treasures of our religion, of our society, the different mythological tales and the invaluable lessons in them. Why are we not teaching the treasure of wisdom found in our Vedas, Gitas, Qurans and Bibles to our children?

3. Dignity of Self and All
We live in a fast paced world and society where stepping over others is as common as passing people on the street or at work without even having the time to say ‘hi’. How many of us have people around us with whom we work and interact daily (our co-workers, grocery shop-keepers, maids, neighbors) but hardly know anything about their lives? Stepping over others in the race to be successful is considered fair, and big scandals and scams are reported everywhere, from politics to business. The same is true for us – we are riddled with stress, worry and depression over a small loss in business or money. What happened to the value of dignity of a human being? Are we teaching our children (and ourselves) that we are not defined by our money or possessions, and that while they may be important, an abundance of them doesn’t make us any richer or better than any other human being? And in the same vein, the lack of man made stuff like money, status and possessions does not take away anybody else’s dignity and make them smaller or less privileged than those who have them?

4. Creativity
In this world of cut copy paste where everything is available ready made and pre-packaged, the future generation is missing out on the art of assembling things together and creating something new and useful. Rather the consumerism society we live in today focuses more on use and throw. The art of creativity, of thinking of a hundred new ideas and then having fun while trying them out is what makes us prepare our muscles for the tough times, but the question we need to ask is – Is our younger generation learning this skill?

5. Discipline
I think we are giving our children all the wrong ideas of which rules to follow and which not (not by telling them, but by the experience they have). By growing up in a capitalist economy where everyone is in a race to get ahead, we have all seen the numerous scandals, and the ever prevailing corruption in our day to day activities. By living our lives in a certain way, perhaps we are not setting the right example for our future generations to lead their lives in a disciplined way. We are not teaching them what their rights are, and how to fight for them in a dignified manner rather than taking the easy way out.

How to write regularly, and get better at it in 10 easy steps

I have been writing on this blog for almost two years now, and as I have mentioned in a previous article, writing is not easy. From writing just a couple of articles a month in the beginning of 2010 to writing around 15 articles every month now, it has taken a lot of patience and hard work. There have been frustrations at not being able to finish a simple article over many days, and the pain of not liking what you have just finished writing. It still happens, and not all the articles or poems I come up are ready to post that instant. Sometimes I edit an article multiple times, and over several weeks before posting it.

Today I am going to share some of my learnings from these last 20 months of writing, and what steps you can take if you aspire to write regularly, and become better at that. Even if you are not not writing now, these tips will help you get started and going. Since there are a lot of lessons I have learnt and I keep getting new insights everyday as I write more and more, I am going to write it down in multiple articles, but starting with 10 points which I feel the most important in this article. So here we go…

1. Just Do It

You will become a better writer by writing more, not by planning to write more. So, irrespective of the fact that whether you are tired or busy, whether it is sunny or cloudy outside, just put your butt down, and write. Let me say it again for more impact. Don’t Dream about writing, just WRITE.

2. Feel It. Express it

Write about something you feel and care about. Choose a topic or subject that gets your heart beating, whether it is music, sports, yoga, business or fiction. Writing is not about the language, it is about the subjects that bring out different emotions in you. And once you start writing on something close to your heart, you will be amazed to see how words flow out.

3. Keep a Notebook

Ideas don’t work on an on-call basis. You can’t call out for new ideas, topics or phrases when you want them. They can sprout up in your mind anytime, sometimes even in the middle of the night. So always keep notes, either offline or online, and note your thoughts and ideas, about a new topic or some interesting sentence or quote you might have just thought. When you actually sit down to write, refer to these notes to structure your article. An idea lost is an idea lost, and you can’t recall it again at will, so better note it down the first time.

The Rules of Writing by E L Doctorow

The Rules of Writing by E L Doctorow

4. Keep Patience

You will not like everything you like. Sometimes even after sitting for an hour, you won’t be able to write much. But don’t loose patience. This is expected, and a part of the game. If you want to write good stuff, you have to empty your mind of all the rubbish. And when you write something which you don’t like, it is only this rubbish coming out. Now you must not loose hope and persevere because only after all the rubbish is gone, the good stuff will start coming out.

5. Take Feedback

Most often we are blinded to flaws in our writings, whether grammatical or structural, and it is always helpful to take feedback from a few people before publishing. What is more important is to take critical feedback and not just reject it, but work on it to make your article better. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all those to whom I go for review whenever I finish writing something new.

6. No Fear

Let go of any fear you might have. Fear only results in you ‘not‘ writing. So be without fear, which I know, is impossible. But recognize your fears, and get over them rather than letting them overwhelm you. Let these fears drive your writing. Write badly if you must, but do write. Because if you write, you won and the fear lost.

7. Keep Editing for Later

When you start writing, very often you will feel that what you just wrote can be improved. But don’t be tempted and work on finishing the first draft of your article first, and keep all editing for later. Nobody is asking you to be perfect, so have the courage to write badly, but don’t stop writing unless you finish the first draft.

8. Review and Edit Multiple Times

One practice which has worked very well for me is to review my own writings multiple times, often separated by time intervals of atleast a day. After I finish writing the first draft of any article, I don’t review it immediately, but instead review it once for the next few days, and then post it. This helps me view the same article with a fresh mind every day and hence the changes (if any) I do make it better, instead of if I were to edit it just after I finished writing it.

9. Maintain Discipline

One of the most important practice you can bring to the table is being disciplined at writing. I write around 4 days a week now, and want to increase it to 6 days soon. But it is very important to keep writing regularly, even if you are writing only rubbish. Even if you are not in the mood. Even if you are tired, or exhausted, or whatever. Don’t let your reasons for not writing become greater than your discipline.

10. Read a lot

One sure shot way to improve your writing, and get new ideas to write about, is to read a lot. Read books, newspapers, and articles online. Most often I get the idea of a new blog topic after reading an article online or while reading a book. At this point, I just make a note of the topic and any bullet points which I might have, and come back to it later to write the full article. Due to reading, and keeping notes (see point 3 above) I always have a list of articles to write with some notes already in place.

Life Lessons from Sachin Tendulkar

Most players come as rookies, show their talents and skills, have their ups and downs and after performing consistently well over many years they are termed as legends by the critics and the media. But the case of Sachin Tendulkar is unique. Right from the first time he burst on the cricketing scene as a 16 year old, everybody knew this boy was special and there was something legendary about him. And the way he has been performing over the last 22 years, he has left all those expectations behind and rose tall among legends themselves. As a cricketer, and as a person, there are many life lessons to be learned from Sachin Tendulkar, and I am listing five of them below –

1. Humility

He has the most runs in both forms of the game, the most centuries in both tests and ODIs, the maximum man of the match awards, the highest ODI score and numerous other records to his name. He is called GOD in India. He has been called the world’s best batsman continuously over the last 15 years, and Sir Donald Bradman saw himself in his batting. Perhaps there is no one else in world cricket today who can take all this praise with the grace and humility that he embodies. Carrying the expectations of a billion people, and constantly improving the benchmarks he sets for himself has been his hallmark. When asked about being termed a GOD, he humbly says, “I don’t think it is possible for anyone to become GOD

Still the same smile and enthusiasm

Still the same smile and enthusiasm

2. Always a Student

Despite having all the records to his name, and after consistently performing well for the last 20+ years, he is still a student of the game. He believes that there is always room for improvement. He says he is always keen to improve his game and wants to focus on the next game rather than celebrating his records and achievements. The same holds true for life too, as we must strive to be its students always and take whatever lessons and learnings life has to offer daily.

3. Continuous Hard Work

He is one man in the team who many would argue doesn’t need to practice. But still he is the one who always works very hard before every series and match. He is always punctual in team practice sessions and makes sure to practice more before an important series. His asking leg spinners to bowl in the rough outside leg stump to prepare for Shane Warne before the 2001 series is well known. He has never sat on his laurels but always look to work hard on his technique and fitness, and that is the reason he is still one of the fittest players at 38 years of age.

Enjoy life like he enjoys cricket

Enjoy life like he enjoys cricket

4. Never ending hunger of the game

“I am happy with my performance, but not satisfied”, he has said many times. This after having almost all batting records to his name. His hunger for the game is something which makes his game worth watching. He still has the same smile as he had as a 16 year kid when he plays the game. He still considers every game important and the joy on his face after winning a match or scoring a century tells of his never ending hunger. The hunger to keep scoring runs, to keep his fans happy, and to prolong the misery of the opposition bowlers. If we all live our lives with the same hunger, would there be anything not possible.

5. Discipline

His greatest talent is not to pick up a ball early or hit it through the gaps, but to do it consistently for over 20 years, and constantly improving the standards which he himself has set for the world. His discipline in the nets is well known, where he sometimes bats even after the younger players wind up. Tendulkar shows that talent without discipline is useless. His preparation before every game, and his decision making at crucial times as a batsman is for all to see and marvel at. And when everybody else calls him a perfectionist at many shots, he is continuously improving at them for the last two decades with enormous hard work and discipline.

Five Lessons from the movie “Chak De India”

Sports can often highlight the need for values like teamwork, honesty, transparency similar to the way these values are needed in life. Sports can end up uniting an otherwise divided crowd cheering for a team. The joy and pride when thousands of people celebrate together, click photographs of the national tricolor flying high after a sports victory is indescribable. Chak De India was one such movie which depicts the values it takes to build a match-winning team and what it takes to achieve something which at one point didn’t seem possible. I will list down five lessons from Chak De India, which are very relevant in the Indian context.

1. We are Indians first
We have to see ourselves as Indians first, above any affiliations with state, caste, language, religion, etc. When we seek to achieve something for India and from a national sense, our affiliations with caste, state, etc will only create divisions and barriers which will hinder our objective. If we have to keep our focus on the goal, we have to remove all other distractions from our mind.

2. Discipline
Discipline is like the spinal column which holds the whole body together. Discipline has to be a component of one’s daily lives in the discharge of one’s duties. It is required at the personal level, then at the level of society and institutions. Discipline is something which unites a country or society. It means waking up on time, not breaking the traffic rules while going to office, treating others with respect and care, and using your words wisely.

There is a lot to learn from Chak De India

There is a lot to learn from Chak De India

3. Play our role
All of us have an individual role to play according to our merits. We might have a larger objective and vision as part of a country, society or team but we will have a very specific role to play for which we are best suited. It is important we focus our total undivided energy in fulfilling this role enthusiastically while keeping the larger picture in mind. If everybody does their own task as it is supposed to be done, all our dreams for our nation will be easily achieved.

4. National Interest over Personal Interest
We have to put the interest of the nation above our personal interests in order to achieve results over a longer period of time. We will have to overcome our ego and personal biases if we have to achieve something for the nation. We have a limited time on earth, but the nation will outlive us, and we have to see that our actions fulfill this vision even after we are gone.

5. Short Term vs Long Term
It is very important to see how our actions are important in the long term too. We might have to take some steps, which don’t look so fruitful in the short term but are valuable in the long term. In other words, we will have to make some short term sacrifices for long term glory. Long term values like patience, loyalty, trust, credibility and honesty are very important in this regard.

10 Things I am glad I had done (or do) in my life

Below are the 10 things that I had done, or do in my life which I am really glad for. I am not saying I am perfect at these things, but I am getting better every passing day, and that is what matters. Read on…

1. Accepting mistakes of others
We all are human beings, and we do make mistakes. As important it is to accept our own mistakes, it is also important to accept others mistakes too. Anybody who does not make a mistake does not exist at all. So it is only wise to see other’s mistakes as just natural and move on with life. It has made my life much more joyful and easy whenever I have not passed my judgement on someone due to a past mistake. And it has helped whenever I treat a person positively irrespective of past experiences. Do to others what you expect them to do with you!

2. Build and maintain self-discipline
Before trying to manage others or to make a difference in the world, it is very important that we are able to manage ourselves. Whether deciding how much (and what) to eat, how much to party, or when to get up in the morning are all acts of self-discipline. If you want to get up early in the morning, you can’t delay sleeping in the night. It is as simple as that. It just boils down to resisting the temptation of that late night show on TV, or a few drinks with friends which will run late into the night. No doubt socialising with friends is important, but sometimes you need to learn to say “NO” (which is not easy, believe me) to focus on other important things which you have decided. Either you don’t decide to do a task (like morning exercise), but if you do decide, then self-discipline decides whether you do it or not.

3. Started this blog
Putting your thoughts to pen and paper (or keyboard and laptop) has helped me a lot. We all are social creatures, and discuss about sports, politics, religion, etc whenever we meet or talk. By putting my thoughts / views in writing, I really know what my thoughts are, and others can also come up and comment / participate in the discussion, regardless of geographical limitations. Apart from this, my writing skills has improved, and now I have new dream. A Dream of Writing a Book someday.

4. Running SaleRaja for 2.5 years
Starting a business of your own can help see the world as it is, free from the illusions which we don’t know (or choose to ignore) in our lives. In my experience of over 2.5 years of running SaleRaja, which were not very successful in terms of revenues and profits, but the learnings have been immense. It has made me even more resolved to come back to entrepreneurship, but now better prepared. Anyways, I only have one life and I don’t take it too seriously. I don’t want to save anything for my next life and want to experience everything in this life itself!! So, anybody looking for fun and adventure, I would surely recommend starting a business of your own, at least once in your lifetime.

5. Learning French
For those who don’t know, I know a little bit of French. I learned it for 18 months at the L’AF Delhi, and totally by accident. But I got more than I expected. Interacting with people from different backgrounds made my outlook towards life much more mature. There were businessmen, students, police officers, housewives and professionals in my batch, all learning about French and France. And learning a language is a channel to discover new worlds and improve your life skills. Moreover, learning a new language is always a challenge, and challenges and I go together.

6. Reading Books
Having started reading books regularly only in Jan 2010 (after college), I can say it is changing my views and thoughts on a lot of things. I would like to put an hour of reading daily an activity as important it is to exercise daily. Reading a book (I mostly read self-help, autobiographies, and business books) is like viewing a life from somebody else’s eyes. It gives you a perspective about life and people from another person’s point of view. I am going to continue with this habit forever, and in some 3-4 years, I am going to have my own library with a good collection of books.

7. Making my own rules
Most of the people live their life according to what is the norm, what everybody else is doing. It is assumed that you need to follow the so called rules, or “conventions” to get what you desire, be it your job, family or whatever it you may be wanting. But I beg to differ. Who says that I have to do what everybody else does? Intact, if I know the outcome of a task I am doing, what is the fun in doing it. I only have one life and I don’t want to live it the way other people want me to. I might encounter some failures or setbacks along the way, but that be it. The fun of not knowing where you are going only can get you what you normally can’t get. That is why I studied computers too much during my school days that other subjects suffered. That is why I started SaleRaja… And read “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Ryand if you need more.

8. Helping others
Helping other people, either those for whom I am responsible for, or somebody a total stranger, has always given me so much satisfaction that has never been matched by doing something for myself. I totally experienced a different kind of satisfaction (like I have never experienced before) when I was leading the 99acres team in Noida. It was a responsibility which I didn’t took seriously when I started, but it showed me shades of my character even I wasn’t aware of. Helping / Mentoring a new bunch of engineers right out of college changed me as a professional, and as a human being. I feel more connected with myself after that experience. I don’t think if there is a better feeling than knowing that somebody is smiling or sleeping peacefully because of you.

9. Moving to Bangalore
Bangalore has taught me a lot. In fact, I think moving to any new city will give some experiences and learning that can’t be attained otherwise. You get to interact with new people of different culture and language. A lot of my misconceptions of how things happen in life have cleared after moving to Bangalore. New places to travel and explore also add to your to-do list after relocating to a new city. In Bangalore, I have come to believe that honesty and integrity still exist in this world and you don’t have to be cruel or selfish to survive. It is often said that judge a society by how it treats its weaker sections. How the locals in Bangalore treat and respect women and elders is totally heart warming. I want to wander along the globe, moving to a new city every few years and keep on learning to be a better human being. Bangalore, your time is getting over soon 😉

10. Living in today
“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is because they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” Most people are either worried about their past or the future, missing the present in the process. It is important to understand that we can’t change anything what has happened in the past. Neither can we second guess the future. At best, we can make a plan and work for the best outcome. But if it does not, it is wise to learn the lessons from failures and move on. Love life. Love yourself. Living for today while having fun and making everybody involved in your life happier is what should be our goal for the day. Watch the movie “The Groundhog Day” to realize how we should live our lives. We all have only 24 hours in a day, and it is important to make them count.