Life

Articles about my life, experiences, learnings and more

There are 150 posts filed in Life (this is page 30 of 30).

The Positive and Negative Sides of Us

An Eclipse of Black over White

An Eclipse of Black over White

We all have positive and negative sides to our personality. Sometimes we are the cheerful son, ever helping friend and a polite human being. Yet sometimes we can also be selfish, jealous and disrespectful to others. Nobody has escaped these two sides of human nature, the only thing that separates us is with which side we decide to associate ourselves with.

The only difference between a criminal and a philanthropist is in the mind. The old cliche that says that “Human mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master” probably explains that. The criminal has allowed his insecurities and fears to overcome his mind and better judgment to justify his acts. And the philanthropist’s strong will power has allowed him to overcome his fears and do good for the society in large.

In our daily lives, we come across many different people. They may be colleagues, friends or family members. Let’s take a moment to think about how we interact with these people in our day to day lives. You will be amazed to find out how quickly we forget the good sides and instead focus on the negative sides of people. How water cooler gossip in the office or phone gossip between family members bring out the worst of everyone and hides the good. See how our TV soaps are only tales of deceit, fears, jealousy, greed and not of honor, bravery, honesty and truthfulness.

“Hate the Sin, Not the Sinner“, goes a popular saying. Now if everyone has their negative and positive sides, it basically comes down to us that which side we needs to focus on. Even if we assume that one person is outright cruel and insensitive and deserves every brick you throw at him, he will have a softer side to him. But by that logic, you will be happy/pleased if he changes to a good person. Now, either we can focus and spread gossip about his daily acts of cruelty or praise him, defend him for the one good act he performs sometimes. And how does one expect good out of someone when you never look at that person with trust and confidence, but always with suspicion? And when are his chances of developing his positive traits more, when you gossip about him (which will eventually reach him) or spread word about his good acts?

Gandhiji once said that “Be the change you wish to see in the world“. Now, I am sure that none of us wants to be treated badly by a family member, or ignored by a good friend, or deceived by a business colleague. But are we, each of us as individuals, doing our part? Are we not giving in to our negative sides when we gossip about a colleague, family member or a friend? Instead of all this, if we focus on their positive sides and behave in the same way, we will fill our days with lots of happiness and joy and prevent health problems like blood pressure, etc…

Even if you don’t care about what I have said above or don’t believe that some people have positive sides too, I would still (try to) treat everybody in the best possible way I can. For one, I don’t want to be the person I hate by doing the same stuff that I hate in another person. And secondly, I believe that I my life span of say 60-70 years (of which 26 years are already over), I don’t want to waste my time hating others, there is enough good in the world to focus on and spent the remaining time of my journey on earth.

White Space in our lives – Need and Importance

White Space is a commonly used term in the industry I work in, the Internet industry. White Space is the space that is left between text and images on a web page. It is often said that the more white space you have, the more prominent your text becomes. For example, Google.com has a lot of white space while Naukri.com has a drought of it….

Looking at life and ourselves, I want to apply the “White Space” principle in our daily lives too. We live in a world where we strive to be busy. Workaholic people, who spend 12-15 hours at the workplace are celebrated like martyrs in our society. Being busy has become a parameter for measuring success. We have filled up our lives with friends, work, projects, dreams, aspirations, and so on. When we pack our calendar from 8AM to 6PM, more often than not we will find no time for lunch, or re-group your desk, or reply to a mail from an old friend…

Applying the “White Space” principle to our lives, we need to realise the two kinds of white space that we find in our lives. One is which we don’t choose. Like time spent when traveling to work, waiting outside the client’s office for a meeting or waiting for your turn in a queue. We get this white space daily in our lives and more often than not we don’t make use of it and just let it go by. The other kind of “White Space” is what we decide to put into our lives. Taking some time off for ourselves just after getting up from bed, taking a few planning breaks in between, or a introspection break at the end of the day will not only help us relax and plan our lives better, it makes room for people and things that really matter.

Coming back to first kind of white space, I always try to make proper of whatever white space I get in my routine. If I am stuck in a traffic jam, I normally take out a book or article (which I always carry) and read some pages. It could be anything from business to jokes. If waiting for somebody for a meeting, I sometime just sit back with my eyes closed for 5 minutes which believe me, can really help focus better afterward. We will always get these unexpected white spaces in our lives daily and rather than being frustrated and honking on the roads, we can take this time to relax and rejuvenate for the rest of the day. Make use of this break by turning it into an energy booster, not an energy drainer.

The second kind of white space comes when you keep a little more breathing time in your calendar. Giving our self even a few minutes of breathing time everyday can make a huge impact in our lives. Begin small. Take 10 minutes out for yourselves every morning. Try to visualize your day ahead and how you plan to go about it. What tasks you want to be over by the end of the day? Or just do some breathing exercises and prepare yourselves for the day. During the day, take time between meetings. Go for a walk, and connect with your body, your breath and nature. It might be difficult at first, but we need to let go of the feeling that everything needs to be done right now. This way of thinking is embedded in our society and is very unproductive.

The point is to slow down and reconnect with yourself. How many times have you been too busy with your day-to-day schedule that you don’t even have time to think what you are doing? Learn to say “NO” to unimportant things, don’t try to “fill” time by doing something, just sit back and relax for a while. Try sometime to put your head in your mother’s lap for 10 minutes and relax. It feels great. Now remember the last time you did this!! Ever since I started taking time out for myself, I am feeling more rejuvenated and fresh. My anxiety and resentment are gone, I know what is happening with my life, and I am able to contribute more to those really close friends and family, as they are the ones who really matter.

Choices, Decisions and Consequences

Choices, Decisions and Choices

Each decision leads to a new path

Every morning we wake up unknown of what lie ahead of us. All of us have different choices in front of us whenever we are at a decision making point in our lives, and we live with the consequences of those decisions for the rest of our lives. In geometry, a path is a collection of line segments between some points with each point giving a new direction to the path. Similarly, our life is a sequence of decisions taken at certain intervals of time. At each decision making point, we have choices, and these decisions give a new direction to our life. (To see how I make my decisions using a theory called The Best and Worst Case tactic)

I totally believe in the choices, decisions and consequences theory. Everybody’s life is governed by the choices we make. I don’t believe in destiny, luck or fate. Though I believe that there are somethings above our control, we can always control how we react to unknown and sudden situations or turns of life. At every point, whether we have walked there or whether it has been thrust upon us, we have to make a choice and live with the consequences.

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice – William James

Many of us just go through life, only a few of us actually “live” it. Which route to take on way to work? Procrastinate, or get busy with that important project? Whether it is a small step as what to eat for dinner or a major step as which college to choose, we always have many choices in front of us. Few things in life are free. We reap what we sow. I find that the quality of my life improves when I ‘act‘ and give conscious thought to my choices and decisions. I feel more in control of my life, more optimistic, and I tend to make ‘better‘ choices and decisions.

Each decision could be termed as the beginning of a new path in our life. We chose a new path when we make a decision. I have made some decisions I am not proud of and I have to live with the consequences. I have no one to blame but myself for them. Similarly, there are some decisions for which I am really glad. The choices I make set the direction my life will take. Earlier, I used to blame others or luck or fate if something did not went the way I expected. But the earlier we realise the truth the better it is.

With decisions comes consequences. Good or bad experiences are basically a result of whether we got what we were expecting or not. It is important to be mature enough to take full responsibility for our actions. As we all love to take the credit for a job well done, there is no shame in accepting the blame for a mistake. I believe there are no mistakes, only lessons to be learnt from them. A “mistake” should not be treated with negativity, it is actually something good. A mistake can show you what you did wrong, and how to avoid it the next time. A mistake is only a lesson, it improves your chances of success the next time. So we must forget the mistakes, remember the lessons and move on with life.

The sooner we realise this, the sooner we will be able to make better decisions and treat each failure as a stepping stone, not as a stumbling block. Nobody has ever made all the right choices, and you will also make mistakes as you go along the path of life. But the only thing important is to make better choices each time, hope for the best, and take your lessons from any mistakes you have committed. More the mistakes you make, the more learned and experience you become. I would like to end with a popular quote from Tallulah Bankhead –

If I had my life to live again. I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner!

Five Point Someone and 3 Idiots

3 Idiots is on its way to break all box office records and the sale of Chetan Bhagat’s Five Point Someone (buy on Flipkart or Amazon) has also increased since the controversy. Well, as they say it, no publicity is bad publicity. And a controversy always helps both sides. Having read the book as well as having watched the movie, I am sharing my views about how much of the movie is based on the book.

For any movie which is adapted from a book / novel, there has to be some changes. Writing a book and creating a book are two different things altogether. Converting a book to a movie scene by scene will never work, and the same is true for converting a movie to a book. A book will always have more details of scenarios compared to movies as a movie need to finish in 2-3 hours. So in comparing the two, one should not consider changes like this. You cannot say a movie is different from the book because the book did not have the songs :O

So here goes my take, I would say the movie is 50-60% taken from the movie. And if you take the crux of the movie, the characters, the twists and turns, it is 80% from the book. To justify these numbers, I am going to list all the similarities and differences I found. I would like to state that I am not related / contracted / hired by either Chetan Bhagat or the 3 Idiots team. Just giving my own personal opinion below.

The similarities are below-
• The characters of Farhan and Raju and their middle class and lower middle class family details are from the book.
• Raju’s sister character, the groom asking for a Maruti 800, his father’s paralysis, his mother’s constant cribbings is from the book.
• The main theme of the film, the problems with the education system is from the book.
• Chatur’s character is also from the book
• Ryan / Rancho being good at engineering and making innovative devices is from the book.
• Three friends meeting at ragging, where Ryan / Rancho takes the fight back to the seniors is from the book.
• Raju leaving for go with Chatur and then coming back is from the book
• Professor “Virus” as the director (HOD in book) is from the book
• Narration of the movie is done by Farhan, same as in the book where it is done by Hari
• Drinking rum of the college roof is from the book
• Raju jumps from Virus’s room in the movie while he jumps from the roof in the book
• Virus’s son dies from falling off the train, which is a suicide, is taken from the book too.
• All 3 go to Neha / Pia’s house in the middle of the night is taken from the book
• Stealing the paper from Virus’s office, the phone call getting them cought is also from the book

The differences are listed below too
• The beginning of the movie, 2 friends in search of the 3 friend is original
• Farhan’s faking illness to stop the flight is original
• The Sept 5 bet to come back after 10 years is original
• The Chamatkar / Balatkaar speech is original
• Rancho making a device to electrocute the urinating senior is different from the book where he breaks a beer bottle to fight back.
• Rancho / Ryan falls in love in Pia / Neha in the movie while Hari / Farhan falls in the book (demand of bollywood cinema)
• Hari / Farhan steals the keys from Pia / Neha in the book while she hands it to Rancho in the movie
• The character of Suhaas is only in the movie
• In the book, Ryan / Rancho gets bad grades like his friends while he is a topper in the movie
• There was no sister of Pia / Neha in the book
• “All izz Well” concept is original
• The delivery of Pia’s sister is original and the story around her
• The events associated to the wrapper of the story – 2 friends going to find the 3rd, Pia running from the marriage, Rancho becoming a scientist is original

Considering both the lists above, you can decide for yourself the extent the movie is based on the book. I would call it more than 50%. There are many differences too, but the main crux of the story, the characters, the theme, the twists and turns are all from the movie… You can leave your comments below, but remember, only leave your comments if you have read the book and watched the movie….

Whatever my opinions might be, I am not taking any credit from the cast of 3 Idiots (specially Aamir Khan) and its director Rajkumar Hirani who have done a wonderful job and produced a great piece of entertainment.

Dreams of childhood

“Bade Hoke Kya Banoge?” is I think the question kids have to answer the most. Childhood is the time when you can imagine and dream of anything. Nothing seems out of your reach and everything looks possible. And better still, nobody frowns at you when you state your wish.

I too dreamed of becoming an astronaut, a scientist, a cricketer, a police officer, and who knows what!! Of course, nobody told me the kind of physics you need to master to become a scientist. I could not handle the physics of class XI alone and my scientist dreams went down the drain. Astronaut is something which I think most kids dream of becoming. But you need to be a scientist first to do so, and you might have to wait all your life for an opportunity to actually go into space. Things look so good and easy on TV…..

In India, who does not dream of becoming a cricketer? So did I. And I was quite serious despite being a pretty poor player. I used to go play on weekends apart from street cricket almost every day. I tried for trials once for the school team but could not get through. I tried for cricket coaching at a sports complex near my place, but could not continue after a few days due to studies and all…

Indian movies sometime wants you become a police officer, not knowing police officers in India are the bad guys and not the good guys as shown in movies. Well, such are childhood dreams. Wild in imagination and endless in possibilities. For most students, these wild dreams change to more realistic dreams of becoming an engineer, a doctor or a CA during the last years of school.

Share with me what all you wanted to become as a kid. How wild were your imaginations?