in Life

The Positive and Negative Sides of Us

An Eclipse of Black over White

An Eclipse of Black over White

We all have positive and negative sides to our personality. Sometimes we are the cheerful son, ever helping friend and a polite human being. Yet sometimes we can also be selfish, jealous and disrespectful to others. Nobody has escaped these two sides of human nature, the only thing that separates us is with which side we decide to associate ourselves with.

The only difference between a criminal and a philanthropist is in the mind. The old cliche that says that “Human mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master” probably explains that. The criminal has allowed his insecurities and fears to overcome his mind and better judgment to justify his acts. And the philanthropist’s strong will power has allowed him to overcome his fears and do good for the society in large.

In our daily lives, we come across many different people. They may be colleagues, friends or family members. Let’s take a moment to think about how we interact with these people in our day to day lives. You will be amazed to find out how quickly we forget the good sides and instead focus on the negative sides of people. How water cooler gossip in the office or phone gossip between family members bring out the worst of everyone and hides the good. See how our TV soaps are only tales of deceit, fears, jealousy, greed and not of honor, bravery, honesty and truthfulness.

Hate the Sin, Not the Sinner“, goes a popular saying. Now if everyone has their negative and positive sides, it basically comes down to us that which side we needs to focus on. Even if we assume that one person is outright cruel and insensitive and deserves every brick you throw at him, he will have a softer side to him. But by that logic, you will be happy/pleased if he changes to a good person. Now, either we can focus and spread gossip about his daily acts of cruelty or praise him, defend him for the one good act he performs sometimes. And how does one expect good out of someone when you never look at that person with trust and confidence, but always with suspicion? And when are his chances of developing his positive traits more, when you gossip about him (which will eventually reach him) or spread word about his good acts?

Gandhiji once said that “Be the change you wish to see in the world“. Now, I am sure that none of us wants to be treated badly by a family member, or ignored by a good friend, or deceived by a business colleague. But are we, each of us as individuals, doing our part? Are we not giving in to our negative sides when we gossip about a colleague, family member or a friend? Instead of all this, if we focus on their positive sides and behave in the same way, we will fill our days with lots of happiness and joy and prevent health problems like blood pressure, etc…

Even if you don’t care about what I have said above or don’t believe that some people have positive sides too, I would still (try to) treat everybody in the best possible way I can. For one, I don’t want to be the person I hate by doing the same stuff that I hate in another person. And secondly, I believe that I my life span of say 60-70 years (of which 26 years are already over), I don’t want to waste my time hating others, there is enough good in the world to focus on and spent the remaining time of my journey on earth.

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  1. il say, ‘Awwww’. i have been going through this personally in my life, and il say this is an eye opener. not really, tho in mi conscience i already knew it, but when it comes face to face via another medium, its more powerful.