White Space in our lives – Need and Importance

White Space is a commonly used term in the industry I work in, the Internet industry. White Space is the space that is left between text and images on a web page. It is often said that the more white space you have, the more prominent your text becomes. For example, Google.com has a lot of white space while Naukri.com has a drought of it….

Looking at life and ourselves, I want to apply the “White Space” principle in our daily lives too. We live in a world where we strive to be busy. Workaholic people, who spend 12-15 hours at the workplace are celebrated like martyrs in our society. Being busy has become a parameter for measuring success. We have filled up our lives with friends, work, projects, dreams, aspirations, and so on. When we pack our calendar from 8AM to 6PM, more often than not we will find no time for lunch, or re-group your desk, or reply to a mail from an old friend…

Applying the “White Space” principle to our lives, we need to realise the two kinds of white space that we find in our lives. One is which we don’t choose. Like time spent when traveling to work, waiting outside the client’s office for a meeting or waiting for your turn in a queue. We get this white space daily in our lives and more often than not we don’t make use of it and just let it go by. The other kind of “White Space” is what we decide to put into our lives. Taking some time off for ourselves just after getting up from bed, taking a few planning breaks in between, or a introspection break at the end of the day will not only help us relax and plan our lives better, it makes room for people and things that really matter.

Coming back to first kind of white space, I always try to make proper of whatever white space I get in my routine. If I am stuck in a traffic jam, I normally take out a book or article (which I always carry) and read some pages. It could be anything from business to jokes. If waiting for somebody for a meeting, I sometime just sit back with my eyes closed for 5 minutes which believe me, can really help focus better afterward. We will always get these unexpected white spaces in our lives daily and rather than being frustrated and honking on the roads, we can take this time to relax and rejuvenate for the rest of the day. Make use of this break by turning it into an energy booster, not an energy drainer.

The second kind of white space comes when you keep a little more breathing time in your calendar. Giving our self even a few minutes of breathing time everyday can make a huge impact in our lives. Begin small. Take 10 minutes out for yourselves every morning. Try to visualize your day ahead and how you plan to go about it. What tasks you want to be over by the end of the day? Or just do some breathing exercises and prepare yourselves for the day. During the day, take time between meetings. Go for a walk, and connect with your body, your breath and nature. It might be difficult at first, but we need to let go of the feeling that everything needs to be done right now. This way of thinking is embedded in our society and is very unproductive.

The point is to slow down and reconnect with yourself. How many times have you been too busy with your day-to-day schedule that you don’t even have time to think what you are doing? Learn to say “NO” to unimportant things, don’t try to “fill” time by doing something, just sit back and relax for a while. Try sometime to put your head in your mother’s lap for 10 minutes and relax. It feels great. Now remember the last time you did this!! Ever since I started taking time out for myself, I am feeling more rejuvenated and fresh. My anxiety and resentment are gone, I know what is happening with my life, and I am able to contribute more to those really close friends and family, as they are the ones who really matter.

Choices, Decisions and Consequences

Choices, Decisions and Choices

Each decision leads to a new path

Every morning we wake up unknown of what lie ahead of us. All of us have different choices in front of us whenever we are at a decision making point in our lives, and we live with the consequences of those decisions for the rest of our lives. In geometry, a path is a collection of line segments between some points with each point giving a new direction to the path. Similarly, our life is a sequence of decisions taken at certain intervals of time. At each decision making point, we have choices, and these decisions give a new direction to our life. (To see how I make my decisions using a theory called The Best and Worst Case tactic)

I totally believe in the choices, decisions and consequences theory. Everybody’s life is governed by the choices we make. I don’t believe in destiny, luck or fate. Though I believe that there are somethings above our control, we can always control how we react to unknown and sudden situations or turns of life. At every point, whether we have walked there or whether it has been thrust upon us, we have to make a choice and live with the consequences.

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice – William James

Many of us just go through life, only a few of us actually “live” it. Which route to take on way to work? Procrastinate, or get busy with that important project? Whether it is a small step as what to eat for dinner or a major step as which college to choose, we always have many choices in front of us. Few things in life are free. We reap what we sow. I find that the quality of my life improves when I ‘act‘ and give conscious thought to my choices and decisions. I feel more in control of my life, more optimistic, and I tend to make ‘better‘ choices and decisions.

Each decision could be termed as the beginning of a new path in our life. We chose a new path when we make a decision. I have made some decisions I am not proud of and I have to live with the consequences. I have no one to blame but myself for them. Similarly, there are some decisions for which I am really glad. The choices I make set the direction my life will take. Earlier, I used to blame others or luck or fate if something did not went the way I expected. But the earlier we realise the truth the better it is.

With decisions comes consequences. Good or bad experiences are basically a result of whether we got what we were expecting or not. It is important to be mature enough to take full responsibility for our actions. As we all love to take the credit for a job well done, there is no shame in accepting the blame for a mistake. I believe there are no mistakes, only lessons to be learnt from them. A “mistake” should not be treated with negativity, it is actually something good. A mistake can show you what you did wrong, and how to avoid it the next time. A mistake is only a lesson, it improves your chances of success the next time. So we must forget the mistakes, remember the lessons and move on with life.

The sooner we realise this, the sooner we will be able to make better decisions and treat each failure as a stepping stone, not as a stumbling block. Nobody has ever made all the right choices, and you will also make mistakes as you go along the path of life. But the only thing important is to make better choices each time, hope for the best, and take your lessons from any mistakes you have committed. More the mistakes you make, the more learned and experience you become. I would like to end with a popular quote from Tallulah Bankhead –

If I had my life to live again. I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner!

Friends as Business Partners

The 3 of us in school in 2001

The 3 of us during school in 2001

I am a big fan of quotes and one liners, but it took me experience to believe in the truth of this quote by John D. Rockefeller – “A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship“. Now I can verify that. I started SaleRaja with 2 of my closest buddies from school whom I have known for over 10 years. It looked like a perfect match then, but I was to realize later that while it is important to have somebody trustworthy as your partner, friendships often carry other baggage which can create problems, particularly when the business is in trouble or growing well.

We ended up parting ways soon, as our vision for our personal future and the future for SaleRaja did not align. It was a perfect case of both sides being right but the situation being wrong. We were the right people in the wrong place. We did not share the same vision for the business. We always thought that since we were so good friends, we would always find a mutually agreeable path in case of conflicts.

We could not have been more wrong. There were times we ended up accepting what the other said as a “friendship compromise“, and not as a “business decision“. And then there were the tough times, when we decided to part ways. We are still friends, but it is, and will never be, the same. Now if I see friends who want to start a business together, I say to them that they have to be prepared for the fact that their friendship might not be the same in a couple of years time.

I think you need to friends with your partners to run a successful business. It is a necessary condition in my opinion, but not sufficient in itself. Having said that, there are always examples of friends running successful businesses. It is important to emphasize on the balance between business and friendship. Friends should always communicate in all matters, even if they feel that as friends, there can’t be a conflict between them. They should decide specific roles for themselves, see whether they compliment each other in the skills needed to run the business, and most importantly they should know when to switch on and off being friends and business partners.

What about me? Will I again start a business? Certainly YES 🙂 But will I start a business again with friends. I am not saying a complete NO here, but I will evaluate a lot more before jumping in this time. Some of the points where founding partners of any business needs to be aligned are –
• Do they share the same values and how do you expect them to play in day-to-day business activities?
• Do they share the same vision for the business?
• Are your work habits and work ethics in line to co-exist?
• How much money will you put into the business and how much do you expect to get out of it?
• What Roles will each of you play in the company? Who will be the CEO/Leader?
• What if one of you gets married and decide to move away?
• How will you treat your employees, customers, investors, etc?

There are certainly other question you need to ask apart from those listed above. But the most important question I would ask myself would be – Am I ready to accept the fact that this person might not be my friend in another couple of years? If the answer is NO, I will know what to do. In his book “The Greatness Guide”, Robin Sharma has rightly pointed out that at your funeral, you don’t see you business partners crying, it is your friends and family who will cry over your grave. A Point Well Made!!

Racism, in Australia and in India

Indians Protesting Racism in Australia

News in media leading to protests

It has been almost a year now since the Indian media has been blasting Australians for racial attacks on Indians down under. After all, it makes for good news which people watch. And who cares for the facts!! It it sells, then show it on prime-time TV or make it front page news… and people will watch too. But do we try to wait and understand what actually is Racism, and is it racism what is happening in Australia?

Racism is defined as “any discrimination or prejudice based on race“. Going by this definition of racism, is it not racism when political parties like MNS and Shiv Sena protests, most of the times violently, against North Indians? Is it not racism when we have reservations for certain “backward” classes for the last 60 years? Is it not racism when we have many temples in our country where non-Hindus are not allowed? In the Sabarimala Shrine in Kerala, women between the age 6-60 are not allowed inside. There are even some shrines where men are not allowed.

Dalits, who represent 16 percent of India’s 1.1 billion population are often beaten or killed for using a well or worshipping at a temple reserved for upper castes. Recently, a temple in Orissa performed purification (washing of temple floors and throwing away holy offerings) because a minister from a lower caste visited the temple. Former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was also not allowed entry in the famous Jagannath Temple of Puri because she had married a Parsi and become an outcast.

Now, the question to ask is “Is this not racism?“. We are discriminating people of our own country based on caste, subcaste, sex or the state they belong to. India is a secular country and the caste system is long gone, but there are frequent reports of villagers torching two lovers because they eloped / married out of their caste. The North East population have always complained of being treated like non-Indians in their own country. Why is Indian media silent on this? Why is there so much noise and hoopla about what is happening in Australia?

The problem with Indian media is it is driven by politics and money. Blaming Australia is easy because they can’t hit back. And everybody can blame Australia easily it provides for good dinner talk. In short, it sells!! Media has enormous power to shape perceptions and stories on crime, corruption, terrorism usually dominate news channels, which are more than 70 in number and in more than 10 languages. We all have friends, relatives living in Australia and if you ever ask them, they will always describe Australians as very sweet and polite people. Australian authorities have expressed their concern at Indian media publishing stories without justifying the facts. They have maintained that all the attacks are not racial in nature. But do we care? Does facts really matter in front of TRP ratings???

I would say it is time for some self-introspection before pointing fingers at others. And it is high time the government controls the media for publishing mindless stories without justifying facts. I have always believed that Media is the fourth pillar of a democratic country after Judiciary, Executive and Legislative and an irresponsible media can hurt a lot. There are enough genuine stories to cover in our country to cover. News channels should cover and show stories of hope, inspiration, knowledge rather than crime, greed, corruption. Media can shape the public opinion and influence politics.

And as with everything powerful, I am always reminded of the quote from the movie Spiderman – “With great powers, come great responsibility!!”

It has been almost a year now since the Indian media has been blasting Australians for racial attacks on Indians down under. After all, it makes for good news which people watch. And who cares for the facts!! It it sells, then show it on prime-time TV or make it front page news… and people will watch too. But do we try to wait and understand what actually is Racism, and is it racism what is happening in Australia?

Racism is defined as “any discrimination or prejudice based on race”. Going by this definition of racism, is it not racism when political parties like MNS and Shiv Sena protests, most of the times violently, against North Indians? Is it not racism when we have reservations for certain “backward” classes for the last 60 years? Is it not racism when we have many temples in our country where non-Hindus are not allowed? In the Sabarimala Shrine in Kerala, women between the age 6-60 are not allowed inside. There are even some shrines where men are not allowed.

Dalits, who represent 16 percent of India’s 1.1 billion population are often beaten or killed for using a well or worshipping at a temple reserved for upper castes. Recently, a temple in Orissa performed purification (washing of temple floors and throwing away holy offerings) because a minister from a lower caste visited the temple. Former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was also not allowed entry in the famous Jagannath Temple of Puri because she had married a Parsi and become an outcast.

Now, the question to ask is “Is this not racism?”. We are discriminating people of our own country based on caste, subcaste, sex or the state they belong to. India is a secular country and the caste system is long gone, but there are frequent reports of villagers torching two lovers because they eloped / married somebody out of their caste. The North East population have always complained of being treated like non-Indians in their own country. Why is Indian media silent on this? Why is there so much noise and hoopla about what is happening in Australia?

The problem with Indian media is it is driven by politics and money. Blaming Australia is easy because they can’t hit back. And everybody can blame Australia easily it provides for good dinner talk. In short, it sells!! Media has enormous power to shape perceptions and stories on crime, corruption, terrorism usually dominate news channels, which are more than 70 in number and in more than 10 languages. We all have friends, relatives living in Australia and if you ever ask them, they will always describe Australians as very sweet and polite people. Australian authorities have expressed their concern at Indian media publishing stories without justifying the facts. They have maintained that all the attacks are not racial in nature. But do we care? Does facts really matter in front of TRP ratings???

I would say it is time for some self-introspection before pointing fingers at others. And it is high time the government controls the media for publishing mindless stories without justifying facts. I have always believed that Media is the fourth pillar of a democratic country after Judiciary, Executive and Legislative and an irresponsible media can hurt a lot. There are enough genuine stories to cover in our country to cover. News channels should cover and show stories of hope, inspiration, knowledge rather than crime, greed, corruption. Media can shape the public opinion and influence politics.

And as with everything powerful, I am always reminded of the quote from the movie Spiderman  – “With great powers, come great responsibility!!”

Pak Players, IPL 2010 and the Politics of Cricket

It is often said that politics and sports should not be mixed. I have heard this a lot during the last two decades in terms of Indo-Pak relations and cricket. Needless to say, Indo-Pak relations are not exactly like bread and butter after the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai. Pakistan players were not allowed by the Pak government for IPL 2009, nor would Indian government have given them issues if Pak government would have allowed them.

Coming to IPL, it is big money and no player would want to miss it, whatever the reasons given. So when the auction for 2010 IPL was announced, Pak players wanted to be a part of it. After getting clearances from their government and as per expressed shown by IPL franchisee teams, 11 Pakistan players were included for the auction. The list included big-ticket players like Shahid Afridi, Sohail Tanvir, Mohammad Aamer, Umar Gul and Umar Akmal. Many of them were part of the world cup winning Pak squad and Afridi was the top runner for the most-expensive bid this time.

But what happened at the auction surprised one and all. There were no takers for the Pakistani players and they were not touched by any of the franchisees. It was a total embarrassment for Pak players in the auction. The franchisees explained it on grounds of cricketing strategy or availability during the tournament, but interestingly, for a player to be included in the auction, he had to be supported by at least one team.

All the franchisees were unanimous in their approach at the bidding process. Something happened during the two weeks preceding the auction that changed their minds. Some are saying the govt refused to give a guarantee to issue their visas. There were intelligence reports of more attacks and in the case of an attack, nobody would have predicted the outcome. But certainly the whole thing could have been handled better. Players are professional sportsmen and they deserve their dignity and self-respect. Shahid Afridi termed it as a big “insult” to the players and their country by India.

Some people are justifying the decision by saying they deserve to be treated like that, after what happened in Mumbai in Nov 2008. Sure it still hurts in every Indian’s heart thinking about the attacks of 26/11. But one should not get emotional and take every decision with reason. Especially when it involved relations between two neighbors. Pak players are not terrorists and everybody knows that. People might not love them because they are Pakistani’s is an acceptable fact and if you don’t want them to play in your country, don’t invite them. But inviting them and disgracing  them is certainly not sports. It’s politics. And it’s bad. Think how would we have reacted if something like this has happened to players like Sachin, Sehwag, Dhoni, etc…

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind”. One bad act cannot justify another bad act. Mixing politics with sports will not only harm the relations between the two nations, it will also create unnecessary tension between players who only want to play cricket. Already there are talks in Pakistan to ban Hindi movies and anti-India protests have started. A small issue not handled well could create unnecessary tension between the two countries. And it not help anyone. It will give fuel and reason to terror outfits to strike again.

Instead of stopping Pak players from playing in the IPL, it is more important to make our borders strong and impossible to penetrate. Still we are running buses and trains between the two countries. If that is ok, how can Pakistan players playing under total security could be a problem? In the end, the cricket fan in Pakistan is confused, heartbroken and angry. Cricket fans in India will not be able to see the World T20 Champions playing in their country. And nobody can guess how long the controversy will continue in political circles!!!