in Life

The End, or a New Beginning?

It has been three months today since my mother passed away, and since I have written anything. Maybe because words aren’t enough to capture what is going on in my mind lately. Maybe because I don’t want the world to see me vulnerable. Maybe because I am scared or confused, frustrated and angry.. Or perhaps, it is life’s way of teaching me something new. Three months have passed, and although I am more at peace, I have come to realize that life will NEVER be the same again…

It has not been easy – these last three months. I have often found myself lost and asking questions like –  Where I am going? What purpose will it serve? What do I want? And who and what really matters? It has been a painful process, but I guess there are also some lessons and learnings in it. I have done things in the last three months I have never done before, or never thought I would do. But does anything matter?

As some of my friends have reminded me, I should write again. And so I am writing this small post to tell the world I am still alive. Life is turbulent, and I guess this is just one of those patches, and I will come out of it as a better person. And though I have not written lately, I have thought about writing a lot, and I will pick it up again soon. So hang in there, I feel a lot better every passing day.

I will leave you with this poem which I read somewhere and this is what I think She is trying to say to all her loved ones from wherever she is –

” When tomorrow starts without me, & I’m not there to see
Your eyes full of tears, showing your love for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry so much, the way you did that day
Thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time you think of me, I’m thinking of you too

So when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
An angel came & called my name & took me by my hand

It was time for me to take my place, in heaven far above
Leaving everyone behind, especially the ones I love

As I turned & walked away, a tear fell from my eye
Remembering the life I lived & why I had to die

I do not want to go, with having so much to do
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you

So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think that we’re apart
For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart. “

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  1. Sorry for your loss 🙁
    No one can match the place of a mother……But,I know you will soon overcome this loss.

  2. Happy to see you writing again. Will be looking forward to more posts.

  3. Yes, Sumit everything in life is just there to teach us new lessons…plz read the article in yesterday Sunday TOI “we r all immortals” wonderful insights…ur mom and her blessings r always there with u…so take ur learnings and move on as a stronger person. God bless u unlimited happiness & peace of mind!!

  4. Quoting from Whitman,

    “O ME! O life!… of the questions of these recurring;
    Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;
    Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
    Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
    The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?


    That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
    That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”

  5. Life knocks us down in many ways. And you will have to choose whether or not, you want to get back up.

  6. Really sorry for the loss…..Completely understand what you going through…..Keep writing and all the very best for upcoming days….

  7. i really miss your post..
    i hope you gather your courage to move forward with experience…
    keep posting and keep going well…